Friday, January 4, 2008

Not Sure.

As I welcome 2008 I'm found lost. Lost, not in a sense of not knowing what to do with my life, but rather not knowing how to get there. For example, I want to be healthier. But how do I get here, is it through a strict very controlled diet, or just simply watching what I eat. I want to be more spiritual, but how do I achieve this? Do I need to go away somewhere to a very rigorous meditation where nothing bothers you and you just meditate? One of my good friends here in San Francisco ( her blog here) told me that her favorite New Year's Eve was spent in one of such retreats.
I named 2008 the year of Zen. If one were to look up the word in wikipedia it describes zen as: "attainment of awakening." However, for me, I've already attained awakening. At least in my own definition of it. I'm already awake enough to realize that I need to implement some changes in my life if I want to successfully achieve the many goals that I have set forth.

But as I sit here, and write this blog out, my mind starts to wonder at what I really want to achieve in 2008. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the many mundane and very latent necessities that need to be addressed. Maybe, I just need to do something much simpler in order to achieve Zen this year. Maybe, perhaps, I need to stop attempting to control everything, and just take one day at a time. Enjoying the company of friends, family, and strangers.

I think that I finally got it. I think that I need to do that.